Why
Did I Have to Take This Class?
Lizzie
Holmes
Dec.
2013
CHLD
201: Lundin
Introduction
Why should I care
about children? Why did I have to take this class? Isn’t this all common sense?
Many of these questions passed throughout my head at the start of the semester.
I have previously been a nanny, babysitter, and etc to children. I never really
liked children unless they were in my own family. However, we have learned many
concepts we can use as tools to bless our lives in this class. This class has
given me comfort to not be so against children and I now have a deeper
understanding of them. Many of the things I learned has in fact has helped me
grow spiritually and helped me better prepare for my future calling as a mother
from Heavenly Father. I have a
divine destiny to rear my children in righteousness and love. Some principles I
have learned in the class that increased my knowledge and also grow
spiritually. Ten specific principles that helped me grow in these areas are:
1. Eating disorders
2. Addiction and technology
3. Guided participation
4. Children with disabilities
5. Healthy nutrition
6. Influence of fathers
7. Parenting styles
8. Bullying
9. Children’s resilience
10. Family structures, nuclear
family
I’m Not Hungry
There
are two types of eating disorders mentioned in the Berger textbook (pg. 422-423).
The first is bulimia, in which someone over eats then purges to make themselves
thinner. It can be very risking because vomit acid can damage the body, lose
nutrients, and even can cause death. Second is anorexia, in which a person can
starve himself or herself to get thinner. This is risky as well because of the
weakening of the body and lack of nutrients needed to live. In the world of
today being skinny and looks are portrayed as something so important. Many times
I tend to down talk my body and myself. However, it is important to keep a perspective
on our divine potential. I once went to a meeting in relief society and someone
gave a spiritual thought Id never forgets. The girl pulled up pictures of
temples and told us to think about the ugly things about the temple. It felt
very wrong to do so and then she explains that our body is a temple as well. Talking
down about our temple is wrong and only creates negativity in our lives. I hope
to always remember my divine purpose and to help my children feel positive
about themselves.
Tech Savvy Age!
In this world we live in technology
is used so much and at constant hours of the day. Because of this overexposure many
teens are falling victim of technology addiction.
According to the Berger “In this
study, many adolescents admitted that video games took time away from household
chores and homework. Worse, one-fourth used video games to escape from
problems, and one-fifth had "done poorly on a school assignment or
test"(p. 452-453) because of spending too much time playing.” So not only
is the time spent on technology a concern but as well as what other important
work they are putting off or unmotivated to do. It can affect their body physically and mentally, they are
unable to understand fiction from reality and also risk health problems like obesity.
In my research on this topic for my group presentation, ways I found in my life
and in others lives to help limit the technology is possible. Some ways could
include putting sticky notes around so you remember your goals, set a timer, fill
out a time management sheet, or even just eliminating the technology all
together. Elder Bednar proposes two questions in the video “Things As They
Really are”. The first is, Does this invite or impede the Holy Ghost? And
second, does it enlarge or restrict your capacity to live, love and to serve? I
now ask this about the technology I involve myself with and hope to expose
myself to media that is “virtuous, lovely, and of good report, and
praiseworthy”
Here Let Me Help You!
One concept I learned about in
class was guided participation according to Berger guided participation is
defined as “The process by which people learn from others who guide their
experiences and explorations”(glossary) This concept is tied to Vygotskys
social learning theories as to why a person thinks and acts a certain way. In
the July 1998 Ensign article “Doing Dishes with Daddy” E. Jeffrey Hill talks
about an experience he had with his kindergarten aged daughter. He had a fast schedule
for the dishwasher he normally followed and yet his daughter announced in the
spirit of service that she wanted to put away the dishes with dads help. Hill
began doing the dishes and found he taking over the dishes job to his daughter’s
disappointment. He agreed to do the dishes her way and help her instead of take
over. By doing this he learned more about his daughter than he ever would have
and understood better he needed to spend more time with them. In my own life I
want to take the time for each of my present and future family members. It is
important to me to teach and help my children use skills they can use
throughout their lives. If we let them use their free agency and helpful hand children
can grow in love and righteousness.
The Only Disability in Life is a Bad Attitude
In the Bergers textbook it mentions
many different types of disabilities and how we can help children with disabilities
(p. 338-345). One type of disability that interested me most is learning disabilities.
Some include dyslexia, ADD, ADHD, autism, and etc. In my own life this is
important to me because my mother and sister have dyslexia and it is known to
run in the family. In reading the text I was able to understand the kinds
symptoms I should be looking for and how well they are doing at school. I hope
to watch for those signs and if my children do have a learning disability I
want to help them in anyway I can. One-way I know I could help my child with disabilities
is looking at the Church’s “Disability Resources” on Lds.org. There it states
all kinds of disabilities and ways to help them. Christ said in 3rd Nephi 17:7 “Have ye any that
are lame, or blind, or halt or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or
that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither…for I
have compassion upon you” this means a lot to me as a person with learning disabilities
and I am grateful for the trials heavenly father has given to make me who I am
today and my divine potential me and my children have.
Veggie Monsters
I
have always been very concerned that I would not understand the way a baby
should get proper nutrition. However, I learned some important key things that
gave me comfort. In class we learned about malnutrition (p. 29). I grew comfort
in knowing I would never let my children get that unfed. While studying babies
I learned a beneficial way to feed your baby is breast-feeding (p. 101). When
babies start to grow according to Bergers textbook they start to move up to
more solid foods. An important concept is the food pyramid, to make sure
children have their carbs, diary, veggies, and meat in their day to be
nutritious. I hope to live a strong nutritious life and also do so for my
future children. I can practice this on my nephew when I babysit him. In
D&C 89 they discuss the word of wisdom. In Summary, it discusses eating
meat, grains, fruit, and etc and how it is important to eat sparingly. In
D&C 89:18 it states, “And all the saints who remember to keep and do these
sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in
their navel and marrow to their bones.” I am grateful for such a blessing and
knowledge in my life.
A Father’s Wisdom
According
to the Berger textbook fathers bring different qualities than a mother brings
in raising their children. Berger states, “Fathers enhance their children’s
social and emotional development in many ways. Synchrony, attachment, and
social referencing, are all apparent with fathers. Indeed, fathers are more
likely to elicit smiles and laughter from their infants than their mothers.” (p.
213) She goes onto explain that mothers tend to be more of a caregiver while
fathers provides high intensity playing. In my own life I see this through my
nephew who loves his parents but especially loves to smile at his father and
plays intensely with. I want to make sure I marry a man who will treat me and
encourage me to be a strong daughter of god. I want to be married in the temple
to a man that will provide and love my children. In Mark 10:7-8 it says, “ For
this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife.
And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one
flesh” I want to work together with my future husband with the love and help of
heavenly father.
What's Your Style?
One day I’ll have
to make difficult decisions in the way I raise my kids. In the Bergers textbook
she discusses 4 different kinds of parents: authoritarian, permissive, authoritative,
and uninvolved (p. 299-300).
-Authoritarian parents raise
children in a demanding way with punishments
-Permissive parents tend to raise
with not strong rules or bribery to get them to behave
-Authoritative encourage independence
and listening to kids
-Uninvolved parenting is when the
child is in no ways involved in the child’s life and let them figure it out on
their own.
The Family: A Proclamation to the
World states, “parents have a scared duty to rear their children in love and righteousness,
to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love
and serve one another, observe the commandments of god, and be law abiding
citizens wherever they live. Husbands and waves-mothers and fathers-will be
held accountable before god for the discharge of these obligations.” It is important
we raise our children in love and righteousness so they can to be able to one
day has their own family. In my own life I want to lean more towards authoritative
parenting. I hope to be an example to my children and respect their agency and also
discipline when needed.
Sticks and Stones
In
the Berger textbook she discusses 4 types of bullying: Physical, Verbal, cyber
bullying, and relational (p. 398) Physically bullying means that the child was
physically tormented or hurt. Verbal means a bully used words like teasing or
taunting to hurt another person. Cyber bullying is the use of electronics to
harm another person. And relational bullying ruining the child’s peer
acceptance by others. There are sign to look out for when children could be
bullied in these ways. Including bruises, a lot of time spent on technology,
lack of friends, and lost of self-esteem (p. 398). There are many stories and
pictures in the friend that describe situations and resolutions for bullying.
Such as the story “Being Brave” by Charmayne Gubler Warnock in which
she stands up for a boy being bullied. I hope to sit down with my children and
go over such stories and discuss this with them in family home evenings. I
would hope my children would feel comfortable in telling me they were being
bullied and stand up for what is right of they say it happening. I want to do
the same in my own life today.
The Resilient Mind
One
principle Berger discusses is resilience of children in middle childhood. Resilience
is defined in the textbook as “ dynamic process encompassing positive adaption
within the context of significant adversity”(p. 380) another three parts to
this definition are: it is dynamic and not consistent, it is a positive
adaption to stress, the adversity must be significant. They also talk about
examples such as in the movie the impossible where a little boy and his family
get stuck in a tsunami. The boy was able to help his family and help other
people as well even under the stress in all of it. This applies because I would
hope to teach my kids the importance of acting on their free agency in this
hard struggling world today and choose to do what is right. In our own
spiritual lives Satan is constantly trying to tempt us to make a wrong
decision. And many times others will try to discredit our beliefs. However, as
talked about by Elder Robert D Hales in the talk “Christian Courage: The Price
of Discipleship.” he tells us members to have the strength to stand up for what
is right.
Going Nuclear
Berger
states that 55% of US families are a Nuclear family. According to Berger, “In
general, nuclear families function best; children in the nuclear structure tend
to achieve better in school with fewer psychological problems.” In the church
we teach that it is important for husband and wife to be married together, and
raising their children in love and righteousness. There are exceptions and
situations in which a marriage cannot be saved but in general this is the case.
Berger in the textbook talks about, “there is a correlation between child
success and married parents partly because of the people who marry, not the
fact of marriage itself”(p. 389). This is important to me because in my future
home I hope to not only marry the right person but that we can be an example of
a strong marriage to our children. In “The Family: A Proclamation to World” it
mentions that parents that fail to fulfill their duties as a parent to their
children will be held accountable before god. I hope to raise my children in
love and righteousness and set an example of love.
Conclusion
These ten
principles have really helped me change my fears about having children. I take
comfort in knowing I will do everything in my power to be a good parent to my
child. Children can be complicated, smelly, and many times seem bratty, but in
taking this class it has reminded me that I was once the same to! Children are
developing and have in each age something they are going through. Understand
those things and my tolerance for children will grow more patience and understanding.
I am really glad I took this class and have gained such knowledge in my own
life and spiritual life.
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